Not everyone is going to like what you do.
Do it anyway.
Not everyone is going to like what you say.
Say it anyway.
Not everyone is going to love what you love.
Love it anyway.
Now, I’m not talking about being an ass! I’m talking about giving yourself permission to be who you are which includes finding out who you are through experimentation, missteps, and trying things on.
You don’t have to know it all ahead of time. You don’t need a full-proof plan (there’s no such thing anyway). You only need to trust in your ability to pause, reassess, and shift course when needed.
And trust in other people’s ability to deal with the you you are, and the you you are becoming.
I mean, they either will or they won’t, yes?
We can fool ourselves into thinking that we aren’t allowed to say, do, or love this or that because someone in our life won’t be able to handle it. So we hold back, for them.
But it’s not really for them.
It’s not to protect or manage their feelings. It’s to manage our feelings about their feelings. We’re trying to protect ourselves from what we imagine we might feel in response to what they might feel.
Exhausting! AND entirely human.
Giving ourselves permission requires stepping into our vulnerability and as Brené Brown is always blathering on about (kidding! LOVE HER!) that means tolerating risk.
It only recently became clear to me that I can’t create anyone else’s safety. I sooo wish I could! I can contribute to someone feeling either more or less safe, for sure. Ultimately, the only safety I’m in charge of is my own.
The wacky thing is, the more permission I give myself, the more I step into my vulnerability, the safer I become.
So, I offer you this:
Your Truth + Risk = Your Safety.
Your Truth + Manipulation (in search of Safety) = 🙁
Which will it be?