We leak our life force by doing things we don’t really want to do. We can be fooled into thinking that it doesn’t matter, it’s a small thing, it won’t do any harm. But I think it can do harm when there is a crack in the trueness of our you-ness foundation. In other words, when we do it because we think we should or have to or can’t say no.
These small slights to self accumulate over time. We need to stop every once in a while and give ourselves a chance to mend the crack and recalibrate our Way-Finding Meter. What’s needed is a KIND ruthlessness that says, No, or Not now, or I’m not able to do that, or I’m not taking on anything new right now, or even, I’ve changed my mind, or I thought about it and realize it’s just not going to work. Not endlessly, but for a time.
We can stay home, putter around in our pjs, order take-out or eat cold leftovers, watch a movie, read a book, sort through old photographs with a hot cup of tea or a big glass of wine. We can shake things up, have an adventure, dance till dawn (or at least until 10pm).
But we can also ask for what we want without returning the favor–right away, that is. Ask for someone to make you a cup of tea without jumping up to get one for them an hour later. Ask for a friend to tell you what they love about you without telling them what you love about them, right then. Ask for your partner to do the dishes even though it’s your night. Ask for a check-in text just because. Ask for everyone you know to send you funny youtube clips without sending each and every one of them a thank you with notes on your responses.
Just soak it in. Gather your energies. Feel your own inner vibration rising. Rest, receive, and recalibrate.
And then do the next thing because you want to or choose to, and don’t the other thing because you don’t want to or choose not to and the thing that you’re not quite sure of? You get to say, Let me get back to you.