I’ve been thinking lately that I ought to call myself a Mindset Coach. I mean what else is there?
Our thoughts create feelings which form beliefs that drive our behavior that lead to more thoughts and more feelings, solidifying belief systems and ingraining habits that we often call personalities. More thoughts arise, then feelings–round and round and round.
If I think I am ‘behind’, I feel bad. I start to believe I’ve missed my chance. I lose energy. I don’t try the new thing or take the risk and I get stuck in behavior (avoiding, blaming, excusing, distracting, doubting, collapsing) that doesn’t get me closer to what I really want. What is wrong with me, I think. I get down on myself, feel disappointed, frustrated, ashamed. (And we all know from Brené Brown, that state of mind is the least likely to lead to taking action in a new, more meaningful and fulfilling way.)
Some people might say, it all comes down to whether you’re an optimist or a pessimist, i.e., Do you see the glass as half-empty or half-full?
But Isn’t that a bit too binary for these times?
It’s not about half-empty or half-full with the accompanying judgments (optimist=good; pessimist=bad).
It’s–There is a glass with some amount of water in it.
The difference between an open mind and a closed one doesn’t have to be a wide open space. A crack will do. A pinhole in the near-certain dark dome above your head. One tiny point of light–that’s all it takes. Because if that’s there, what else might be there?
I’m not talking platitudes–we know when something offered doesn’t feel right, like a false floor. We’re reluctant to move forward because on some level we know it won’t hold.
But we also all know the feeling we get IN OUR BODIES when all seems lost, when every angle explored, tweaked & tested dead-ends, and then we hear a small voice say, Wait–what if…?
Just that--What if…in a halting, high voice, head tilted, eyes gazing off in the distance,
What if it…?
What if we…?
What if you…?
Something about that feels true, trustworthy. Even if we also feel afraid to believe in it, we still find our feet itching to move forward, to test it out.
Rather than pessimist or optimist, what about possibilitarian, what Norman Vincent Peale used (invented?) in his book, The Power of Positive Thinking.
Peale wrote, “No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities — always see them, for they are always there.”
And also: “If you put off everything until you’re sure of it, you’ll get nothing done.”
Waiting until you’re sure before you begin, or believing you’re sure it can’t be done so why bother both contain the same misunderstanding: Certain-a-tude.
Dear Reader, Is there a place where you feel stuck, behind, out of options?
Do you feel pressed between the world of slapping on a smiley face or giving up?
Poke a hole in it.
Listen for the What if…?
Discover the possibilitarian in you.